My Famous Case
In the Court o’ Session Outer House
May won the first crossing o’ swords
But efter Davie won at the Inner House
May appealed to the House o’ Lords
The case made its way doon to London
And the highest court in the lands
Five judges in the Palace o’ Westminster
Who would hold May’s fate in their hands
Because May hudnae purchased the float
The defense said she had no remedy in law
But Lord Atkin wisnae for buying either
And he vowed to fix this legal flaw
Deliberations called me a foreign body
And even ‘deleterious matter’
But I’m as Scottish as haggis and wouldnae harm a fly
Though I might stop it for a wee natter
Lord A argued if you injure yer neighbor
By what should reasonably be foreseen
You should be liable under the civil law
And suffer the penalties that would mean
Lords Tomlin and Buckmaster were dissenters
Thereby showing they wurnae too bright And by blindly following the existing law
They took a path that wisnae right
I rightly got all the fame frae the case
But it’s really to James Atkin we all owe
For it was he who persuaded Lord Macmillan
That to the final judge it should go
Auld Thankerton liked doing his knitting
Aye, even when sitting in court
But he still cited common sense and justice
As he purled Atkin and Mac his support
The three wise lords had won the vote
To state a maker owes a duty o’ reasonable care
That didnae just mean that I needed to be clean
It meant that I shouldnae have been there
Noo, a tort’s no’ a baby tortilla
But a wrong causing loss, suffering or harm
And through Davie’s negligent actions
He would pay for May’s injuries and alarm
END O’ CHUNK FIVE
So, the Lords had passed their judgment
By a margin o’ three against two
And even though it was that close
It was still a seismic legal breakthrough
It also proved to be the end o’ the legals
Even if it wasn’t meant to be that way
But you’ll see that there’s one character short
As we enter the last act o’ the play