May Donoghue's Revenge

Though May was still wed to Henry Senior

They hudnae bided together for awhile

But as tough as it was for her and H Junior

She still approached each day wi’ a smile

One day, three weeks after the fateful event

When May was thought to be getting better

She was rushed into the GRI

Wi’ an ambulance dispatched to get her

Everybody thought May had just had a boak

And there was no mention o’ ‘gastroenteritis’

I personally had never heard o’ that term

But then I’m no’ a doctor or scientist

As she lay inside the hospital

A nurse told May she would have a great claim

That she shouldnae be poisoned wi’ a drink

And getting justice should be her aim

May hired Walter G Leechman

A counsel kent as a feisty foe

And despite two lost cases wi’ ginger drowned mice

For the third time, he was having a go

As May was a simple pauper

With less than five pounds to her name

The guid Leechman didnae charge her a fee

It’s called ‘pro bono’ in the legal game

Davie Stevenson was kent to have a few bob

He part owned his beloved Saint Mirren

And a’body who owns a fitba’ club

Is known to have money to burn

Of course, Davie was really suspicious

But he couldnae outright accuse

Even efter discovering May’s ice cream overfondness

Had been the cause o’ some previous spews

Walt G was a shrewd Glaswegian

And to double his chances o’ a win

He summoned baith Davie and Minghella to court

Much to the latter’s fear and chagrin

Minghella was named on the papers

Because he had sold the ginger beer

But it was soon decided it couldnae be his fault

As he wisnae the Brahan Seer

END O’ CHUNK THREE

So, noo you are acquainted wi’ the characters

You will agree they are a diverse bunch

I’m sure you’ve already got yer favourite

It being ‘me’ is probably my hunch

And that has just made me think

It’s been five minutes since you heard aboot me

But don’t worry, the next bit isnae boring

Naw, yer no’ getting my family tree